trash talking

Viper will eat anything.  It’s pretty good really, I have 2 human (Viper + Misty) and one canine (Boosty) food-disposal units living with me… and they’re not very fussy.  Viper happily chows down on my somewhat ‘interesting,’ vegan concoctions… his only demand is that it tastes good.  So far, there have only been a few disasters.

Viper isn’t like me, he will seriously eat anything.

I used to bring home a lot of rejects from my years of cafe work… old stuff (for Boosty) plus experiments that didn’t quite work out… usually baking.  There was once a white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake that got slightly over-cooked so didn’t look presentable enough to serve up at the cafe.  Still ridiculously delicious, but asthetically not too pleasing.  I knew Viper would love it, as he has a bit of a sweet tooth for treats- particularly to accompany his after dinner cup of tea.

The cheesecake was a hit, overcooked and all.  Viper was stoked.

Now, I’m talking about a full sized cheesecake here… about 30cm in diameter, and about 15cm high.  White chocolate, cream cheese, eggs, sugar, butter and biscuit crumb base… you know the drill – incredibly rich.  Viper was in heaven.  Sometimes Viper doesn’t know when to stop.  It gets to the point he has to lie on the carpet, hold his belly and moan.  This is a typical occurence after Christmas lunch.

After he had put an impressive dent in the overcooked (yet delicious) cheesecake, Viper declared he needed to put the remaining dessert in the trash… he couldn’t handle it in the fridge, taunting him with it’s smugly indulgent smile.  I said what I always do, ‘You have no self control.’

So the cheesecake ended up in the bin.

For about an hour until Viper got hungry again, when he asks me, ‘Is it wrong to get it out of the bin, it’s really good.’  I say nothing.  Just the usual raising of the eyebrows.

The cheesecake came out of the bin.  At this point I vocally absolved myself of any connection with said cheesecake and Viper for the rest of the evening.

At least it wasn’t being wasteful.

On that note, Viper put in a request for a non-sugary, somewhat healthy something that tasted ‘treat’-like but wasn’t too unhealthy.  Apparently he is worried his night time habit of chocolate coated peanut/almond/raisins/licorice bullet-munching is rotting his teeth (sugar overload).  I had some unsweetened 54% chocolate (that’s as far as Viper will venture over to the dark side) and so the following recipe was born… not quite a cake, not quite a brownie… I’m not sure what it is, but Viper said it was just what he was after.

 Chocolate and Mixed Berry Viper Bites:

(Vegetarian, soy, nut and cane sugar free)

• 3/4C frozen (or fresh) berries
• 1/3 cup milk (dairy or non dairy… I used cow for Viper)
• 1/4C honey
• 1t vanilla extract
• 1/4t salt
• 3T cacao (or cocoa) powder
• 2 eggs, lightly whisked together
• 1/4C coconut oil
• 1+ 1/2C wholemeal self raising flour (a gluten free self raising flour blend would be a good sub)
• 100g chocolate, chopped into chunks ( I used unsweetened)

1. Pre heat oven to 170 degrees C (reduce this if using fan forced setting… 160 should do it).
2. In a blender, blend first 6 ingredients together.
3. Combine berry mix with eggs, oil and chopped chocolate.
4. Fold in flour, taking care not to over mix and pour into a lined baking tray (I used a 20/18cm).
5. Bake at 170 degrees C for 15-20 minutes (under cooking it slightly with make it more ‘brownie’ like).
6. Cool on a wire rack.